The off-topic topic

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 26 Sep 2006, 17:00

I wouldn't let my girlfriend control my life. Either she trusts you or she doesn't. Unless you're planning on having a threesome she's nothing to worry about. Give an inch... they take a mile. Soon even just looking at your female friend will cause a rant along the lines of "you don't love me... you wanna break up... you fucked her didn't you?" Nip it in the bud now. Tell your gf how it is and she'll have no choice but to accept it.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 26 Sep 2006, 17:07

In some ways I agree with (Mr Sensitive) Mark,

I think Yi's g/f is overly paranoid, if she can't accept (innocent) things like that when you've been together for 5 years, what does that say about the relationship?
Its not as if you're going to a brothel or whatever

IMO anyway

- I'm a fine one to talk though, girls often scare the crap out of me (as I told you often with Sarah) or bad things happen.

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 26 Sep 2006, 17:12

slasher13 wrote:Hey Yi

Yi-Long wrote:Ah well... it all seems like something that I'm trying to do everything right and proper, and in the end it will somehow blow up in my face, with everyone hating me...
Trust me, it not easier when you married , but insecurity with your girlfriend , another thing i forgot to add is, has something happened in her past that led her to being insecure. With my wife, her father was very bad, use to beat up all the brothers, sisters and her mother, and she used to see it. She hates her father which a passion, and when we first started going out, she always had this barrier. Now the barrier is gone, she feel a bit insecure, she doesn't want me to leave and at times is emotional. I know how she is, and can deal with her, because she has been hurt in the past, so just wondered if that was a reason for the times you girlfriend becomes the 'living timebomb'?

Nothing bad happened in her past (as in abusive parents or whatever). I think it's just because she's already insecure, I'm her very first boyfriend and her best friend, all that at the same time. Just scared of this relationship going wrong I guess.

I'm the same way though, so it's just the way the relationship is. We are very close together so I think we both dont want anyone else possibly coming between us.

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 26 Sep 2006, 17:14

Markgway wrote:I wouldn't let my girlfriend control my life. Either she trusts you or she doesn't. Unless you're planning on having a threesome she's nothing to worry about. Give an inch... they take a mile. Soon even just looking at your female friend will cause a rant along the lines of "you don't love me... you wanna break up... you fucked her didn't you?" Nip it in the bud now. Tell your gf how it is and she'll have no choice but to accept it.

Ehmmm... I'm not taking any dating/relationship advice from you, Mark. That would be like taking dieting-advice from Dr. Phil

I agree though, about the give an inch and they'll take a mile part. And yeah it will probably get worse as time goes by, unless she stops caring...

And I will NEVER have a threesome. Ever.

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 26 Sep 2006, 17:19

grim_tales wrote:In some ways I agree with (Mr Sensitive) Mark, I think Yi's g/f is overly paranoid, if she can't accept (innocent) things like that when you've been together for 5 years, what does that say about the relationship?
Its not as if you're going to a brothel or whatever

IMO anyway - I'm a fine one to talk though, girls often scare the crap out of me (as I told you often with Sarah) or bad things happen.

I dont think she's overly paranoid, because if I would place myself in her shoes (and I wont, cause they're too small), I would be worried too.
Like I said, I wouldnt want her going out with 2 guys she knows either. So I can totally understand her point of view on this, cause I'm the same way.

But it just sucks ofcourse to have to blow off a good friend because of my girlfriend's feelings. It would have been easier if we would both be more relaxed and less worrying about this kinda stuff. I think it's the burden of loving something/someone so much, that you cant bare the thought of ever losing it.

Shen · Post by **Shen** » 26 Sep 2006, 17:25

honestly Yi, jealousy/insecurity to this extent is never a good thing. you've been with her 5yrs right? that should show her that you love her, otherwise you would have left her by now....

you shouldnt hav to blow off your friends to keep your girlfriennd happy, a relationship is give and take. and sometimes you gotta accept stuff you dont like otherwise it just causes problems. there shouldnt be a factor of "you cant have female friends" or "you cant have male friend" if you'd cheated on her before then i'd understand her not wantig you to go wit hthis girl. but since you've been friends with her for a while and stuff and nothings happened then she shouldnt worry...and you shouldnt always be stepping on eggshells makign sure you dont upset her...

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 26 Sep 2006, 17:54

Yi-Long wrote:Ehmmm... I'm not taking any dating/relationship advice from you, Mark. That would be like taking dieting-advice from Dr. Phil

Well then, listen to Shen. She echoes my feelings on the matter. You could do worse than listen to me, you know?

I agree though, about the give an inch and they'll take a mile part. And yeah it will probably get worse as time goes by, unless she stops caring...

A relationship like yours puts on pressure which will only surface later. Better to set boundries now. The jealousy and insecurity will only get worse. No matter how much you love someone you can let them run your life. It doesn't work.

And I will NEVER have a threesome. Ever.

Your loss.

Shen · Post by **Shen** » 26 Sep 2006, 18:55

for once i do agree with mark!

if you always give in and do as she wants so as not to upset her, she will never learn to trust you completley...personally if a guy i was dating said to me "you cant go out with your male friends" i'd tell him where to get off, and go out anyway.

i can understnad it in the beginning of a relationship, your insecure, and you dont fully trust them, so you dont want them to go out with all the temptation. but 5yrs...it should be clear you lover her

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 27 Sep 2006, 00:49

Shen wrote:for once i do agree with mark!

It happens...

personally if a guy i was dating said to me "you cant go out with your male friends" i'd tell him where to get off, and go out anyway.

I told you not to see Derek and Dave anymore!!

You lied to me... wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Shen · Post by **Shen** » 27 Sep 2006, 19:09

argh...ok really need to whine here lol...

i have to write a report about a movie...which is fine, but dammit, he's making us use Arial 12pt and double spacing...i hate double spacing!!!! it looks so stupid...uses twice as much paper, and just looks like a 4yr old did it! dammit why cant we just type our work normally. just such a pet peeve of using double spacing. besides that im just lookign for an excuse to procrasinate, so posting here and getting nanoyed at the doublespacing is working fine lol

and mark....yeah well thats what you get for telling me what to do...

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 28 Sep 2006, 02:53

I hate double spacing.

I had to do that for assigments too sometimes.

Waste of space.

I presume it's so the markers can make notes?

But still...

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 28 Sep 2006, 08:34

Yes indeed it is. I had to use double spacing for my writing too. It does look stupid IMO.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 28 Sep 2006, 08:40

Yesterday a girl came up to me in the bar, TBH I wasn't sure I'd seen her before (but I may have done), and we started talking, and then she was saying "I really like you/You have a nice personality", I said thankyou

Then she said stuff like "What do you look for in a girl" and "Have you ever had sex before" (!) and I was like WTF

She kept offering to walk me home etc but I said I was fine.
When I was younger in secondary school I was used to this crap but not now, I wasn't sure if she was yanking a chain or not, but yay or nay, it was kind of creeping me out,

Bonkers I tell ya

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 28 Sep 2006, 08:47

Wow... instead of NOT pulling a girl, I think you've actually managed to somehow PUSH a girl

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 28 Sep 2006, 08:50

brooce-leroy · Post by **brooce-leroy** » 28 Sep 2006, 10:57

I think you were in there Grim.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 28 Sep 2006, 11:11

Maybe.
If she really means what she says she'll turn up again

brooce-leroy · Post by **brooce-leroy** » 28 Sep 2006, 12:38

Either that, or she's a rabbit roaster.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 28 Sep 2006, 12:40

Thats a possibility....

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 28 Sep 2006, 12:49

grim_tales wrote:Yesterday a girl came up to me in the bar, TBH I wasn't sure I'd seen her before (but I may have done), and we started talking, and then she was saying "I really like you/You have a nice personality", I said thankyou Then she said stuff like "What do you look for in a girl" and "Have you ever had sex before" (!) and I was like WTF She kept offering to walk me home etc but I said I was fine.
When I was younger in secondary school I was used to this crap but not now, I wasn't sure if she was yanking a chain or not, but yay or nay, it was kind of creeping me out, Bonkers I tell ya

Grim, ah dear, Grim.
Unless this girl looked like the back end of a bus I would've offered to walk her home.
Sounds like she was well up for it.
Why assume she was a loon? Maybe she just found you attractive?
If you see her again don't pass up the opportunity.
Life's too short.

Oh, what does this comment "When I was younger in secondary school I was used to this crap but not now" mean? You had women offering you sex in bars when you were a kid?

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 28 Sep 2006, 13:05

LOL I mean I was used to girls pretending to ask me out and stuff and then retracting it because they thought it was funny.

The honest truth was, I couldn't tell if she was being serious or not.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 28 Sep 2006, 13:09

Damn, that's cruel. Those bitches really messed you up. Don't assume every woman is as bad as that or you'll end up alone.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 28 Sep 2006, 14:22

Well, as far as the girl looked - thought she was OK, certainly not like the back end of a bus.
But I've been spoiled (ie Sarah).

tom2681 · Post by **tom2681** » 28 Sep 2006, 14:32

HotGirl - Hey Tom, wanna go to the movies with me tonight ?
Tom2681 - Wow, you're serious ?
HotGirl - Really not.

That's what my life used to be... before I met Xiao-Qing.
We've been together for almost a year now.
I'm beginning to think that maybe she's not playing a cruel joke on me after all.

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 28 Sep 2006, 15:32

grim_tales wrote:She kept offering to walk me home etc but I said I was fine.

Amateur!

Or she wasn't Asian.