Bullets 'n' Babes

HungFist wrote:

Markgway wrote:No, I learnt how to write Japanese over the weekend.

True, it looks like something you learnt over the weekend

Could you read it without a translation? I mean, how did you know it was machine translated, besides the fact it was posted by moi?

Markgway wrote:

HungFist wrote:

Markgway wrote:No, I learnt how to write Japanese over the weekend.

True, it looks like something you learnt over the weekend

Could you read it without a translation? I mean, how did you know it was machine translated, besides the fact it was posted by moi?

I can read and understand it, but the grammar is incorrect and some words are kinda wrong (correct meaning, but used in the wrong context). That's what you always get with machine translations. It can translate the words, but it doesn't understand the contect or the differences in the ways languages are spoken. Try translating this site into English and you see what I mean.

HungFist wrote:

grim_tales wrote:

Markgway wrote:ハング拳: 1 つの変態仮面のチケットをしてください。

チケット販売： あなた変態 ！

Eh? I don't know what that means

machine translation...

*Puts into Bing*

Ha ha ha

HungFist wrote:I can read and understand it, but the grammar is incorrect and some words are kinda wrong (correct meaning, but used in the wrong context). That's what you always get with machine translations. It can translate the words, but it doesn't understand the contect or the differences in the ways languages are spoken.

I guess the nuances of language will always be lost when machine translated.

Still, for everyone else it was a funny joke!

The Thieves 2.5/5 entertaining but ultimately way overlong Korean caper movie.it looks great and the cast is good but 136 minutes...

Wild Zero - 3/5
One of those intentionally bad B-Movie style films. I wasn't really in the mood for it but I get the appeal and it seems to be a popular film for drinking games. Next time.

Wandering Ginza Butterfly - 3/5
Bloody stupid/mad plot, but I do love the style of 70's Japanese cinema.

Wandering Ginza Butterfly 2: She-Cat Gambler - 1/5
Too much to see it the day after the first, it's #1 remade with a sack of hammers.

Bakumatsu taiyoden - 5/5
My Japanese ability has increased as my interest in cinema has decreased so having been fluent for years I haven't bothered to look into the cinema of Japan very much. Consequently a film that is well regarded in Japan and unknown elsewhere only gets onto my radar with an English-friendly release. I am ashamed.
This film is a lot of clever fun and I dare you to not be entertained.

Villain - 2.5/5
Considerably better than I expected from Lee Sang-il, who's normally shit, and the trailer/poster/cast which don't make it look too appealing. Somewhat dark and he gets a lot out of the 'star'/model cast. It still wasn't all that good, though considering his previous films it's quite the turnaround.

Rent-a-Cat - 2/5
Meh. Too 'cutesy' with horrible acting. Some people would probably enjoy it, and I probably wouldn't enjoy their company.

I Wish - 3.5/5
*JO ODAGIRI WARNING* (Fortunately very limited presence)
Well put together childhood drama, it's a little on the quaint side but not altogether.

Motorway (Hong Kong, 2012) [BD] – 3/5
A rookie cop takes on a master getaway driver in an entertaining but somewhat disappointing Milkyway film. It starts out horrible with Initial D style trendy teen cinema starring Shawn “no balls” Yue, but things improve notably after a while. The rest of the film is skillful stunt driving on real streets, with no fancy editing or rap music. The philosophical aspects are briefly brought up, but ultimately taken nowhere. Here lies the main problem. The film shares structure with a typical martial arts revenge story, but it ignores the mental and most of physical character development which must take place before a young challenger can believably challenge the old master. To make matters worse, the final action set piece comes out underwhelming despite some originality. A nice, but ultimately underwhelming movie.

About the Pink Sky (Japan, 2011) [Cinema] – 2/5
Keiichi Kobayashi’s gorgeously shot youth film is an empty affair. The film follows a high school girl who finds a wallet on the street. This leads to a series of encounters and interactions with various characters. The storyline, however, is secondary to Kobayashi’s portrayal on a high school girl’s life. Unfortunately, a frequently screaming, idiosyncratic high school girl isn’t all that fascinating of a protagonist. Rather than atmospheric and existential, the film comes out loud and scripted. Comparisons to such masters as Shinji Somai or Shunji Iwai are a far cry from reality – Yuya Ishii would be a closer match. On the positive side, the film sports very stylish B&W cinematography which effectively hides some of the digital video’s technical shortcomings.

Golgo 13 (Japan, 1983) [DVD] – 4/5
Golgo 13 kills in a classic violence-anime. Plenty of graphic assassination, sex, and cool music, though 93 minutes is a bit much for the storyline. Toei’s live action adaptations starring Ken Takakura and Sonny Chiba (of the same manga) pale in comparison.

Audio Erotica (Iro koe) (Japan, 2012) [VoD] – 4.5/5
A man’s voice becomes fuel for erotic desire and despair in an urban Tokyo film resembling Shinya Tsukamoto’s films. The outcome is one of the most unique and stylish takes on sexual psychology. The well acted and written film is supported by superb cinematography and harrowing audio. The scenes with the protagonist wandering in Shibuya’s neon light jungle, filled with warm colors and low sounds, are the most impressive. The storyline eventually descends to a Tsukamotoan hell, but even then the film suggest of a birth of a new talent rather than a tribute. A stunningly promising movie by the young (female) director Kimi Yawata, and one of the most interesting discoveries of 2012.

Voyeur (Nozoki) (Japan, 2013) [VoD] – 3/5
An odd and slightly clumsy, but fun enough short movie opens with a woman making love to an octopus. She’s being photographed by a sleazy one eyed man, who is the film’s “hero”. The film follows the man’s encounters with models – and a strange little boy who stars stalking him. Though it is unclear whether the film is supposed to be a parody or just a sloppily made movie, it’s hard not to be entertained by a film that is so perverted a cartoon octopus had to be used as official artwork. The director is Stephen Slade, who shot the film in Japan.

Wandering Alien Detective Robin (Japan, 2012) [VoD] – 3.5/5
A modern film noir inspired by Sting’s alienation song Englishman in New York. A lonely private detective in a big city – only he happens to be a big headed alien from outer space. The odd but amusing film does not make a number of its peculiarity. Director Lisa Takeba plays tribute to the genre with stylish B&W cinematography and jazzy soundtrack. Aliens live on earth next to humans, and being a minority, they are often discriminated. The alien mask hides some relatively well known faces: Alien vs. Ninja’s Masanori Mimoto and Sushi Typhoon man Marc Walcow, who doubles for the New York scenes – it was cheaper to fly just the mask than the cast.

Shaolin Avengers 2.5/5 messy narrative spoils an otherwise entertaining Fu Sheng/Chang Cheh Shaws effort.

Zero Man vs. the Half Virgin (Japan, 2011) [DVD] - 3.5/5
Miike screenwriter Sakichi Sato's (Gozu, Ichi the Killer) trendy romance/drama/comedy/fantasy. A policeman wakes up with no memory but instead a skill to see the number of everyone's past sex partners. Rauchy idea makes relatively innocent comedy and romance, with stand-out supporting performance by film translator Don Brown as 55-hit gaijin. Sato makes most out of his limited budget; wonderful pop/rock soundtrack, and some visually mesmerizing scenes. The film runs 20 minutes too long, but is certainly a nice small discovery. Hiroshi Yamamoto co-stars. Part of the second season of Seishun H films.

Extend Hands From Darkness (Japan, 2013) [Cinema] - 3.5/5
A film about delivery health (basically home delivery prostitution) girl serving disabled customers. An interesting topic, shot is semi-documentaristic fashion with relatively modest tech credits. Director lacks distict style, but also avoids preaching and biggest cliche for the most part. Characters feel real, as so some moody street scenes. At 66 minutes it's at the length of a pink film, but there's no nudity due to lead girl Maya Koizumi being a gravure idol. She acts alright, but hiding strategic bits feels a bit pretentious in a film with many sex scenes.

Birthright (Japan, 2011) [DVD] - 3.5/5
An impressive slow burner of a revenge movie. Imagine an early Kiyoshi Kurosawa revenge drama with melancholic gray visuals and and nothing but female characters. Long 10 to 15 minute sequences with no dialogue, music used very sparingly. It's an endurance test to many, especially the long captivity sequence, but with impressive performances and a truly powerful ending. Director Naoki Hashimoto is better known as producer for Jun Ichikawa and Shunji Iwai, and which is where his directorial influences are. Lead actresses Sayoko Oho and Miyu Yagyu give their all, performing days with almost no water or food during the captivity scenes.



(more screencaps of all three: viewtopic.php?f=1&t=4486&p=168476#p168476 )

The Thieves (South Korea, 2012) [Flight] – 2/5
A clichéd 90 minute caper movie stretched into 135 minutes. Simon Yam’s supporting role and a couple of entertaining action bits stand out.

Chinese Zodiac (China, 2012) [Flight] – 2/5
The third instalment to the Armour of God series is a mostly unsuccessful children’s movie. Jackie Chan shows his age both in front and behind the screen: many of the stunt scenes are wire assisted, and shot poorly enough to make Chan’s old Hong Kong films look like technical masterpieces in comparison. Silly supporting characters and overstated moral messages are aimed at entertaining/educating the child audiences. There are, however, some well done fight scenes towards the end where Chan shows he’s still got something to impress the audience with.

HungFist wrote:Chinese Zodiac (China, 2012) [Flight] – 2/5
The third instalment to the Armour of God series is a mostly unsuccessful children’s movie. Jackie Chan shows his age both in front and behind the screen: many of the stunt scenes are wire assisted, and shot poorly enough to make Chan’s old Hong Kong films look like technical masterpieces in comparison. Silly supporting characters and overstated moral messages are aimed at entertaining/educating the child audiences. There are, however, some well done fight scenes towards the end where Chan shows he’s still got something to impress the audience with.

I'm surprised you didn't mention the fact it oddly keeps rehashing Operation Condor.

I don't remember Operation Condor well enough Always found it a bit over-rated (nice film, but not in my Jackie Top 10)

HungFist wrote:I don't remember Operation Condor well enough Always found it a bit over-rated (nice film, but not in my Jackie Top 10)

Oh really, it's one of my fav JC films

13 Steps of Maki (Japan, 1975) [35mm] – 4/5
Toei’s attempt to have karate super star Etsuko Shihomi star in a pinky violence film resulted in one of Shihomi’s best movies. The film is a shameless crossover of Toei’s most popular girl exploitation genres: karate, girl gang, and women in prison. It doesn’t take more than 30 seconds from the film’s beginning that two women’s shirts are ripped off – a fate that awaits nearly all supporting characters in the film. What places 13 Steps of Maki apart from real pinky violence films is replacing slapping and knife fights with first grade karate action. The lack of strong villains is the biggest shortcoming. In addition, some scenes are cheesy enough to resemble c-grade superhero movies.

A Certain Killer (Japan, 1967) - [35mm] 3/5
Raizo Ichikawa stars as a Japanese assassin in a French new wave influenced film. The stylish, but slow paced film spends most of its time following an assassin running a sushi shop and coming across a hippy girl who wants to hook up with him. The film is no match for films such as Le Samourai, but has its own limited charm. Ichikawa plays his role with a bit too much cheekiness, leading to a strange non-balance between realism and cool.

Gallants (2010): 3.5/5

An amusing, yet also faithful tribute to old-school martial arts from the 60's and 70's, I felt this had the feel of Stephen Chow's Kung Fu Hustle in places while also having references putting you in mind of Fist of Fury, Drunken Master etc and old Shaw Bros. flicks, with characters names appearing on screen. Even the title sequence with the sillhouettes fighting, and its theme song (which sounds very similar to the theme song from Fist of Fury) is testament to this. Yes there are a few silly effects but some decent fighting as well, showing old guys such as Teddy Robin and Chen Kwan Tai still have it
I liked JJ Jia, she's a pretty lass I rather enjoyed it

grim_tales wrote:Gallants (2010): 3.5/5

An amusing, yet also faithful tribute to old-school martial arts from the 60's and 70's, I felt this had the feel of Stephen Chow's Kung Fu Hustle in places while also having references putting you in mind of Fist of Fury, Drunken Master etc and old Shaw Bros. flicks, with characters names appearing on screen. Even the title sequence with the sillhouettes fighting, and its theme song (which sounds very similar to the theme song from Fist of Fury) is testament to this. Yes there are a few silly effects but some decent fighting as well, showing old guys such as Teddy Robin and Chen Kwan Tai still have it
I liked JJ Jia, she's a pretty lass I rather enjoyed it

The worst film of 2010. 1/5

Haha... I wouldn't say Gallants was the worst of 2010, but it wasn't terribly good. How it won a Best Picture award remains a mystery.

From a technical standpoint it's not the most terrible film ever made, but I really hate what it represents. It's a typical piece of modern day MTV generation garbage - a film first making fun of old school kung fu films so that youngsters can have a laugh, then towards the end it tries to suggest the audiences "look, those old geezers may have been pretty silly, but there was something cool about them"

Maybe that is ultimately a good thing, but I think it will just increase the amount of dumbasses who watch old genre films because "they are so stupid you gotta love em". Even worse is filmmakers who adapt that way of thinking. There's a fine line between making decidedly (or unintentially!) outrageous genre films, and despicable "tributes" that miss the whole point. The difference is the respect for the genre, and the trust that your viewers will understand "it's just a movie" even when you don't add subtitle "look, we know we are making a silly movie, that why we insert a self-ironic joke here so that the dumbest of you will get it" every 5 minutes. In Gallants I just felt so sad for the old school actors for having to sell out like that to earn some "fame" among teens.

Found Gallants hard to get through (trailer was amazing tho) A 2.5/5 from memory.

I sort of know what you mean LS - its only 90 minutes long but feels longer than it is.

i liked Gallants-a lot better than some of the mediocre tripe coming out of HK cinema in recent years

City Hunter 2/5 not Jackie's finest hour,this is a silly though light hearted romp that's passable entertainment at least.

Ready to Shoot (Japan, 1990) [35 mm] – 2.5/5
Koji Wakamatsu’s mainstream effort with Yoshio Harada as a former 60’s radical running a bar and ending up protecting a Vietnamese girl from the Shinjuku mafia. The jazz tuned film hasn’t aged especially well, with Harada’s brace jeans being the biggest offender. Wakamatsu inserts interesting bits of his own politics, especially towards the end, but the screenplay is mediocre. A proficient zeitgeist, nevertheless.

Hello My Dolly Girlfriend (Japan, 2013) [Cinema] – 2/5
Takashi Ishii officially joins the dirty old men club. Though know for having a thing for sex and violence – and sexual violence – his latest is a shameless otaku epic like no other. The doll-come-alive love story goes straight for the rapes and fan service: the girl spends half of the time bottomless, including when kicking ass with roundhouse kicks, and the hero has sex with her for the first time before she even comes alive. What is missing from Ishii is that brilliant direction and screenwriting that produced a number of gems in the 80’s and 90’s (Love Hotel, 1985 ; Original Sin, 1992 ; Black Angel Vol. 2, 1999). Instead the pic runs out of steam before halfway, and becomes a never-ending series clumsy fantasies, ridiculous “satire”, and boobs. Digital mosaic courtesy of Japan’s film censorship accompanies most of the film.