The off-topic topic

[Yi-Long]

Wait, maybe I'm missing something here, but do you mean that this girl now still isn't buried in a forest somewhere!?

What happened to to, Gassy? You used to be cool!

[gasteropod]

lmao, thanks guys I can't get over how well that was typed, I was soooo drunk by that point haha! (I remember having to retype pretty much every word about 3 times). Just needed to let out my frustration.

[saltysam]

bang her at least.

[bradavon]

You could pull that right out of an episode of Jeremy Kyle . That sounds just like at least two of my female friends. Girls can be so ridiculously indecisive. As Hung says, one minute it's this and the next it's that. They can literally be all over the shop with what's going on in their head.

This girl sounds quite normal .

On the other hand, having to endure drunken (overly masculine) louts on a night out, gets really bloody annoying. One minute it's bang this or bang that, the next it's talk of football or falling over so badly everyone around them gets hit. So many drunk men are plain revolting. I don't get why any woman would fancy them.

One time I was walking down these steps into a nightclub and I touched this guy on the shoulder, as a way of saying excuse me can you move out of the way (I said excuse me too). The next thing I know he's really abusive to me, saying he'll fuck me up. WTF! All I did was touch the guy on the shoulder briefly. He was with our crowd too, some girl invited him.

[gasteropod]

bang her at least.

Unfortunately I'm too much of a gentleman/loser to do that.

On the other hand, having to endure drunken (overly masculine) louts on a night out, gets really bloody annoying. One minute it's bang this or bang that, the next it's talk of football or falling over so badly everyone around them gets hit. So many drunk men are plain revolting. I don't get why any woman would fancy them.

Yeah I hate all that, shame alcohol and caffeine just exacerbates the situation.

[Markgway]

This girl sounds quite normal .

One time I was walking down these steps into a nightclub and I touched this guy on the shoulder, as a way of saying excuse me can you move out of the way (I said excuse me too). The next thing I know he's really abusive to me, saying he'll fuck me up.

Yeah, sorry about that.

[saltysam]

Would you guys consider a man in a long-term relationship sharing a room on a 100% platonic basis with another woman a form of cheating??serious question,i'm interested in your opinions.

[gasteropod]

Would you guys consider a man in a long-term relationship sharing a room on a 100% platonic basis with another woman a form of cheating??serious question,i'm interested in your opinions.

What, for one night? If there's no sexual contact it's not cheating.

[HungFist]

Nope.

It might make the partner feel a bit uneasy, but I don't see why it would be cheating. No different from friendship.

[saltysam]

Well it was a Travelodge in London last week,original plan idea was for me to kip on the floor,instead we shared the bed but definitely no sexual contact.Have felt very guilty since,do not think my missus would approve in any way shape or form

[Yi-Long]

Would you guys consider a man in a long-term relationship sharing a room on a 100% platonic basis with another woman a form of cheating??serious question,i'm interested in your opinions.

I would do everything I can to avoid that situation to even take place, basically cause I know my girlfriend would worry about it cause she would never know for sure if anything happened or not.

Just like I would worry sick if she would share the night with some dude in an hotelroom.

It's technically not cheating ofcourse, but I'd avoid that situation at all cost anyway.

[saltysam]

I would do everything I can to avoid that situation to even take place,

you are right but i went in with my eyes open,it'd been planned for a while.

Just like I would worry sick if she would share the night with some dude in an hotelroom.

i'd do more than worry sick,i'd go ballistic which clearly makes me a hypocrite.

It's technically not cheating ofcourse, but I'd avoid that situation at all cost anyway.

i think it's a form of cheating as obviously my wife does not know...which makes me feel incredibly guilty even though i didn't "cheat" in the usual manner.

[Markgway]

Would you guys consider a man in a long-term relationship sharing a room on a 100% platonic basis with another woman a form of cheating??serious question,i'm interested in your opinions.

No. As long as she's on the same page and you don't share a bed.

original plan idea was for me to kip on the floor,instead we shared the bed but definitely no sexual contact.

Oops. I should've read all your posts. Honestly I don't think it was a good idea. But if there was no sexual contact you're probably OK.

Have felt very guilty since,do not think my missus would approve in any way shape or form

Unlikely....... but it might be better coming from you. Bring flowers. And chocolates. And something that sparkles.

[saltysam]

Unlikely....... but it might be better coming from you. Bring flowers. And chocolates. And something that sparkles.

i won't be telling her.my friend wants do it again,i enjoyed it and would like to...

[Markgway]

i won't be telling her.my friend wants do it again,i enjoyed it and would like to...

Mistake on all fronts. I don't claim to be a relationship expert but I hear alarm bells going off on this one.

[gasteropod]

Yeah, first you say you're feeling guilty, and now you're saying you want to do it again!

[saltysam]

i won't be telling her.my friend wants do it again,i enjoyed it and would like to...

Mistake on all fronts. I don't claim to be a relationship expert but I hear alarm bells going off on this one.

no,definitely won't lead to anything more.i've known her nearly 10 years but only really well the last year or so,we are just great mates and i love her company....but that's about it.

[saltysam]

Yeah, first you say you're feeling guilty, and now you're saying you want to do it again!

Correct on both fronts.

[IronMonkey]

Slippery slope. Don't do it.

[HungFist]

One time wasn't bad, because it wasn't planned and nothing happened. So what if you shared the bed? If you shared a bed with a guy would that make you gay? No. The same thing.

And I don't think you need to tell your wife. These kind of things are likely to cause 10 times more trouble and worry than they ought to. She would probably feel bad and insecure because of something that did not even happen. So just save her from that. Why confess when you don't have anything to confess?

But it's your wife, you know her better than I do. I'm not even married. I'm just trying to imagine myself in that place (not as your wife but as guy whose Japanese girlfriend shared the bed with another guy... I don't think I'd need to hear about such thing).

But yeah, be careful what you do next. If you make it a habit to share a bed with another woman, then it will start looking strange, and your wife will probably find out about it, and after all the secrecy imagine what it will look like...

Any chance you could introduce her to your wife? Since all the hiding stuff is probably gonna backfire, why not try the opposite?

[saltysam]

Any change you could introduce her to your wife? Since all the hiding stuff is probably gonna backfire, why not try the opposite?

My friend knows my wife,they get on well,my wife is well aware i'm mates with this girl and she knew i went to London but as part of a group,not just the two of us.

[HungFist]

I think the ideal would be if there was perfect trust between the tree of you... and no hiding... but it sounds like that's not going to happen. And frankly, I think I'd feel bad if I knew my kanojo was regularly meeting another guy privately...

Pretty difficult question...

Maybe just meet her in public places and in daytime? Go back to the hotel alone and give your wife a call (better yet, via skype) before you go to sleep. Then she doesn't need to worry where you're spending your night and with who...

[saltysam]

Maybe just meet her in public places and in daytime?

I Normally do...pub etc..

Go back to the hotel alone and give your wife a call (better yet, via skype) before you go to sleep. Then she doesn't need to worry where you're spending your night and with who...

my wife trusts me 100% which bizarrely makes me feel worse even though i haven't done anything

[Markgway]

One time wasn't bad, because it wasn't planned and nothing happened. So what if you shared the bed? If you shared a bed with a guy would that make you gay? No. The same thing.

Not the same at all. This scenario is a one way ticket to trouble central.
What you see as perfectly harmless your wife will see as betrayal (unless she happens to be a saint).
If you're feeling guilty about all this there's a jolly good reason.
You know it's not quite right and are looking for us to pat you on the back and say 'Nah, it's OK, Sam, you're fine. Go ahead.'.
It's not fine and you're putting your marriage at risk.
No women is EVER fine with her husband sleeping in the same bed as another women.
Doesn't matter if you didn't touch her. There's an inherent sexuality when a man sleeps next to a woman. Something your wife will be all too aware of.
You already admitted how you would feel if the situation were reversed.
Doing it once could be construed as a mistake, doing it twice.........

And I don't think you need to tell your wife. These kind of things are likely to cause 10 times more trouble and worry than they ought to. She would probably feel bad and insecure because of something that did not even happen. So just save her from that. Why confess when you don't have anything to confess?

If you don't tell her what happened before there's always the risk she'll find out some other way.
Imagine if you fell out with your platonic friend and she was looking for a way to get back at you... think about it. No secret is 100% safe. Ask yourself: If this arrangement is so innocent why haven't you told your wife already? Because you know what she would say. But now that you've done it you should come clean. Better a small argument now than a huge one later.

BUT that's just what I would do.

[HungFist]

Doesn't matter if you didn't touch her. There's an inherent sexuality when a man sleeps next to a woman.

Speak for yourself.

You already admitted how you would feel if the situation were reversed.

I was referring to a situation that was going on for a long time, not one time.