What general film/series have you just seen.. marks out of 5

[gasteropod]

Alien Resurrection: 3/5

Jeunet shouldn't have made it like a dark comedy, but it's at least more enjoyable than Alien 3.

[Markgway]

I had to ask because ** 1/2 is one bloody confusing way of just saying 2.5.

Is it?

A rating that still makes no logical sense.

I already advised that I was using the Maltin scale.

What's wrong with out of 5? And what's wrong with numbers?

Nothing. In fact I think I'll mix stars and numbers in future just to confuse you.

Stars are confusing, compared to numbers anyway.

Not if you have an I.Q higher than your shoe size.

[Markgway]

CLERKS ***
Kevin Smith's first and best movie. It was (sadly) all downhill from there.
37!?!

AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY ***
Again... original and best.

THE TRUMAN SHOW ***.5
One of the most original (and enjoyable) satires to ever come out of Hollywood.

[luckystars]

Alien Resurrection: 3/5

...but it's at least more enjoyable than Alien 3.

[gasteropod]

Yup, I haven't watched the workprint version of Alien 3 yet though.

[APPINESS]

Alien Resurrection: 3/5

Jeunet shouldn't have made it like a dark comedy, but it's at least more enjoyable than Alien 3.

Have to agree with that. Why do people hate Resurrection so much.

Wanted **1/2

Enjoyed the action but it got a bit too preachy for me.

It's comlpicated *
Wife's choice and she hated it as well.

Rented 4 Blu-rays for ￥1,000 at Tsutaya.

The Losers ***
Enjoyable action film. Better than the A Team which was a CGI mess.

The Karate Kid (2010) ***
A bit too long but enjoyable enough remake with a touch of Jackie.

Salt **.5
Not bad but nothing new.

Zombie Land ***.5
Better and funnier than expected. Better than most Zombie films put out these days.

[HungFist]

Salt **.5
Not bad but nothing new.

Zombie Land ***.5
Better and funnier than expected. Better than most Zombie films put out these days.

heh, I think I have some fun memories of the latter one...

Zombieland (USA, 2010) – 3/5
Enough written about this self-aware yet funny and gory zombie comedy, hence let me share some off-screen experiences. It was nice seeing Tokyo movie goers are still into zombie films, to the extent that some people were standing in the theatre in the last, sold out screening in Hiyuumantorasuto (fucking hell this took a long time to figure out... Human Trust). Also a nice surprise was the amount of female audience... not only poor victims dragged in by fat bastards, but girls in their 20’s coming to cinema with their friends.

Salt I remember too. I burned to death in the sun because I refused to go see a Angelina Jolie movie It was a good deal, I think

[bradavon]

Alien Resurrection: 3/5 - but it's at least more enjoyable than Alien 3.

What! How can you say that? Alien 3 is a great film. Alien 4 is so dumb but Alien 3 has some really beautiful moments.

Is it?

Of course. You're saying it's not quicker to recognise 2.5 over ** 1/2? Please. Of course it is. Literally no one (except you) types 2.5 as ** 1/2.

I already advised that I was using the Maltin scale.

That just means, there are two people using an illogical system instead of one.

Nothing. In fact I think I'll mix stars and numbers in future just to confuse you.

Knock yourself out. I don't tend to bother reading your reviews because a rating should be immediately obvious, same as text speak. I only asked because ** 1/2 doesn't make much sense. You should at least state it's out of 4. People are going to assume you mean out of 5.

Yup, I haven't watched the workprint version of Alien 3 yet though.

Do it! It's already a good film but the Workprint makes it even better.

Have to agree with that. Why do people hate Resurrection so much.

Two reasons:

1. The ending is so stupid. What were they thinking?
2. The first 3 are proper serious films, this is just dumb as fuck. I like the under water swimming aliens though.

[luckystars]

Resurrection is just horrible..hard to watch all the way through it's so bad.

[HungFist]

Is it?

Of course. You're saying it's not quicker to recognise 2.5 over ** 1/2? Please. Of course it is.

Because some people have small shoes. Ain't got all day!

Literally no one (except you) types 2.5 as ** 1/2.

("because what you just said was something so dumb not even Romero bothers to point it out...")

[Markgway]

Of course. You're saying it's not quicker to recognise 2.5 over ** 1/2? Please.

I don't care if it's quicker. I'm not desperate to save that fraction of a second.

Literally no one (except you) types 2.5 as ** 1/2.

Literally? No one? Are you sure?

That just means, there are two people using an illogical system instead of one.

You are such an enormous tit it takes the breath away...

I don't tend to bother reading your reviews because a rating should be immediately obvious, same as text speak.

Oh noes. Brad doesn't read my reviews. My life as a critic is over.

You should at least state it's out of 4. People are going to assume you mean out of 5.

I did. And do every time you ask.

[saltysam]

That just means, there are two people using an illogical system instead of one.

.

You know who Leonard Maltin is right? his "illogical" rating system he uses in his annual book has helped make it one the most popular film review books ever.it's legendary.Though i've never forgiven Maltin myself for giving The Big Boss *1/2 out of ****

[bradavon]

He's no Mark Kermode.

Because some people have small shoes. Ain't got all day!

What? You do say some oddball things sometimes.

[romerojpg]

He's no Mark Kermode.

Jesus you bring him into everything, just meet him, bum him and get it over with

[HungFist]

Because some people have small shoes. Ain't got all day!

What? You do say some oddball things sometimes.

Press ctrl + f and then type "shoe"

[Markgway]

Though i've never forgiven Maltin myself for giving The Big Boss *1/2 out of ****

Nah, he gives it **.

I can understand why though. If you're not a genre fan there's a lot of flaws to pick apart.

I do disagree sometimes, but he's one of America's most respected critics and his book has been an annual bestseller for 41 years.

Not that this would mean anything to Brad.

He's no Mark Kermode.

WTF? Kermode talks a lot of shite sometimes, same as any critic. So why act as though he's the infallable God of Filmcritics? I quite like his programme, sure, but to compare him to Maltin, who was published when Kermode was still popping his zits, is a joke. Your ignorance knows no boundaries.

[saltysam]

I can understand why though. If you're not a genre fan there's a lot of flaws to pick apart.

i can see your point but i think he picks out it's flaws by saying something like "Bruce Lee defends honour by destroying world" which is a bit lame it's a great book though,agreed.a stalwart of the movie world

[bradavon]

Not that this would mean anything to Brad.

Why? Just because I'm not masturbating over him.

WTF? Kermode talks a lot of shite sometimes, same as any critic. So why act as though he's the infallable God of Filmcritics?

Where did I say any of that? I regularly disagree with him.

I quite like his programme

So do I but I rarely bother any more. It used to be a good 45mins but it's now a whopping 85mins. WTF!

It's become a bit of a slog and because an Audio CD can only hold 80mins of audio, I've got to faff around chopping his podcast in two and burn it to two CDs. I'm always at work, so listen to it during my drive in. This used to be easy when it was shorter and then when it was in two parts. People were two dumb to realise "Part 1" meant something.

sure, but to compare him to Maltin, who was published when Kermode was still popping his zits, is a joke.

I was being satirical.

[Markgway]

Why? Just because I'm not masturbating over him.

Where did I say any of that? I regularly disagree with him.

"He's no Mark Kermode."

It's become a bit of a slog and because an Audio CD can only hold 80mins of audio, I've got to faff around chopping his podcast in two and burn it to two CDs.

You burn his podcast to disc?

I was being satirical.

Yes. Of course you were.

[Markgway]

Batman Begins ***

Well crafted reimagining of Batman's origins story is smart and entertaining (even if it borders on the pretentious at times). The dialogue tends toward speechifying, but there's much to enjoy in this new Gotham, not least a well chosen cast stamping their personalities on long established characters (Michael Caine is a treat as Alfred). Up next: The Dark Knight.

[gasteropod]

Possession (1981): 4/5

Deranged, over the top, difficult, disturbing, and has the best 'acting possessed' scene I've ever seen.

[bradavon]

You burn his podcast to disc?

My car has no Aux. in. It's no lengthier a process than copying an MP3 to an MP3 Player, well it didn't use to be. Like I said, I'm always at work when it's on. I guess you're a bum and are at home? You said you liked it.

[bradavon]

36 - 6 out of 10

The first 3 quarters are really good with some decent action set pieces (clearly inspired by Heat) and both the leads are clearly French powerhouses of acting but the last 30 mins (the part that's made up) is rather frustrating. Lots of things seem to be unresolved. I cannot find anywhere that has also picked up on this, so maybe it's me but:

1. Why does Daniel Auteuil's not shoot Gérard Depardieu's?
2. Who is it on the motorbike who does? It looks like Daniel Auteuil mole but surely he's dead? You don't see him actually dead I guess. It's the most likely answer.
3. Why does the bald cop leave the police force?
4. Why is Daniel Auteuil going away? This is not explained at all. He's no longer in prison and didn't shoot Gérard Depardieu.
5. But most puzzling, the first part of the film centres on them catching a gang who've robbed money trucks 4 times. When the film changes direction to the conflict between Gérard Depardieu and Daniel Auteuil, this plot point is completely forgotten about and never resolved.

So all-in-all a frustrating film. I heard it was fantastic and the first part is but it then never bothers to tie up so many loose ends. I'd have preferred it if the film was either utter rubbish or all-around excellent but in the middle is worse. It had so much potential.

Have I missed something?

[Markgway]

It's no lengthier a process than copying an MP3 to an MP3 Player

It's a waste of discs or do you keep them?

Maybe trade them on ebay?

I'm always at work when it's on.

So listen when you get home. I presume your PC has speakers or a phone jack?

I guess you're a bum and are at home? You said you liked it.

How can I be a bum and at home you clueless dolt!?!

[bradavon]

It's a waste of discs or do you keep them?

CD-RWs

So listen when you get home. I presume your PC has speakers or a phone jack?

I could but prefer to listen to it unhindered, too many distractions at home.

How can I be a bum and at home you clueless dolt!?!

If you're out doing something, you're not being a bum